Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Mother's day out dilemma

I'm linking up with Shell today....

There's been an idea being tossed around this house lately. Actually, it's one that we've been back and forth on for a few months now. That idea would be sending Aidan to a Mother's Day Our program starting in September. It'd be for five hours a day, two days a week.

The program would start right before Baby Number Two makes his or her appearance into the world. It would give me a chance to bond with our new baby, catch up on grocery shopping and things around the house, guarantee me a much needed twice weekly nap and probably be good for the overall environment in our home. (Nobody wants Mommy to go insane when she's learning to adjust to two kids under the age of two, right?) Plus, it will give Aidan the opportunity to make new friends, learn a little bit of Spanish, and give him the chance to be in a completely different environment without his parents. He'll even have three little friends at the same program, one of whom will be in the same small class as he is.

Sounds great, right?

WRONG!

See, what I listed above... those are all Jason's reasons why we SHOULD send Aidan to a Mother's Day Out Program. He wants me to have the break from out little man. He wants me to have one on one time with baby number one. He does NOT want me to go crazy!

But me? I can't bear the thought sending my little man away for such long periods of time. It will be so close to the arrival of our new baby. On top of that, he will be in a new room (the baby will have his nursery and crib) with a new toddler bed.So many changes will be happening.  I don't want him to connect the new baby being born with him being abandoned.  So, to suddenly drop him off somewhere new and to leave him there?

I don't think so!

Atleast, not yet.

I understand the pros. I do.

I know that I'm going to need that nap. And of course I want the chance to bond one-on-one, uninterrupted with our new baby. But, the thought of so much change happening so quickly to Aidan really has me worried. I want something to remain constant in his life. He will be barely 19 months when the baby is born. And that's a lot to comprehend at such a young age.

But, when you're a SAHM, you're used to feeling like you have to do it all. That you are obligated to do it all. And, of course, we can't. None of us have perfect children, houses, styled hair, clothes and lives. We all have struggles. We all have dirty dishes in the sink and a pile of clothes that needs to be folded (or in my case, a basket of clothes that needs to be put away- my least favorite part of laundry!). We are all human. We can't do everything.

And the fact that Jason realizes that, that he knows I'll need a breather... well, it's wonderful! (He even suggested a few weeks ago that we hire a maid to come and clean a few times a month once the new baby is here, since I won't have as much time to keep the house as clean as usual. Love. That. Man!)

What do you think? Should we do it? Is Jason right? Will I need this time? Or am I right? Is Aidan too young? Will he feel abandoned?

I'd love to know your thoughts. :)


10 comments:

  1. I started sending my middle son to a preschool when he was 2 and a few months old. The baby was a few months old.

    And do you know what? My 2 year old LOVED going! It was so much fun for him.

    That got rid of a lot of the mommy guilt!

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  2. You already know my opinion ... I think Jason is a smart man! :)

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  3. You know your kiddo best. You do what your instincts are telling you. Besides, it's not like you have to make the decision now right? You can always change your mind and send him later.
    Or maybe you could start smaller and have a sitter or a friend take him to the park for an hour or two when you need a break.
    My little guy was just over 2 when baby girl was born. My mother stayed with us for a couple weeks and yes, it was very nice to have the help and be able to take a nap with baby. You will probably want a break at some point but there is more than one way to get it.

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  4. Of course you will miss him, but he will probably have a ball. It is two days a week and if it doesn't work out you can stop sending him.
    As far as abandonment...he may not see it that way. He may see it as a "big boy" privledge.

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  5. I bet that Adian will love it and will enjoy his special time with his 'class'. If you try it and its not working you can always change your mind. I bet he'll look forward to going and will not want to leave.

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  6. I think whether you like it or not your little guy's world is going to be rocked. And unfortunately you can't predict the disposition of your new baby. If your new baby is a little fussy then that means your little guy is going to miss out on his outside time with you, his games with you, his books with you, his play time with you. He will be looking for something.
    It is too bad you have to make a decision now - things change so much in just a couple of months.
    good luck with your decision - visiting from PYHO

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  7. When my kids were little enough, we lived up north where there was no such thing as Mother's Morning Out... they do seem to be in abundance Below the Mason Dixon Line. I can honestly say that it would have made a huge difference to me, just to have one day a week where I had some time off.

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  8. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I think that's an awful lot of hours away for such a little guy, especially if you'll be home. Yes, having a 2nd child is rough those first few months, but you adjust and learn what works for you. Being a mom is tough, and being a mom of two can be exasperating, but also a huge blessing.

    I'd go for the cleaning lady, ask for help once a week or so to catch a little nap, and enjoy bonding with both of your kids.

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  9. oh my gosh, I didn't realize you were expecting!!!! Congratulations!!! These are all decisions that I know you will figure out as you trust yourself and what works for your family. I would highly recommend the cleaning lady though! :)

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